Sad Day, Week, Month, Lifetime

Im tying to figure out why some people are sad and others are not.  Is it genetic, is it attitude, is it low self-worth?  I have lived my life in sadness.  I think it stems from an early age where things happened and it just propelled all through my life.  But going back even further; I had a twin brother.  We shared a tiny space for 9 months.  We were best friends as well as twin siblings.  He was my everything.  Then we were born; first me, then him.  I was happy.  But something happened, I was left in the hospital and he went home.  Eventually, I came home too, but my twin brother, my best friend, my heartbeat, went back to the hospital and never left.  On a cold day in March, he went back to his heavenly home and I was abandoned.
I don't have any idea how my mother and father felt.  No idea if my mother grieved while taking care of me.  But I grieved too.  I am still grieving.  I had 2 brothers that passed away.  The older one was just a couple of hours old.  My twin was two months old.  What was God's plan.  The best of me when into that coffin.  My happiness left my body; don't know where that ended up.

So why are some people sad?  Why am I sad?  Why can't I just grab each day and bask in the possibility of what's to come?

My grandchild is suffering.  I have to feel her pain.  I feel everyone's pain. I feel sad.  Wouldn't you?

American Pride


Sitting here in my little study, I was just thinking how quiet it is in here; in my own home; in my own town; in my own state.  Very quiet-here.  But I look all around the world and see caus.  Killings; terrorism, bombs; cities going bankrupt.  I read about Rome today.  It is going down hill.  The city is in disarray.  It's not just overseas; it is here, the good ole USA.  Killings, beheadings-where is it safe anymore.  Out children aren't safe, our military aren't safe, no one is safe anymore.  This is not the America I know.  The America I knew was strong, proud, powerful; a world power.  I felt safe.  No more.  Our politicians promise this, that and everything else just to get elected.  Then after, they get amnesia.  Where is the America I knew, where children were respectful, teachers were held in high esteem, hard work and integrity were virtues held by many.  What happened?  Well we all know that answer.  Most people have turned their back on God.  The God that was in our homes, our schools, our workplace.  That God was taken out.  No need to be moral; do whatever feels good.  No need to work; the gov't has many programs just so you can sit back and collect.  Why work? You get paid less.  Where did our sense of pride go; our work ethic?

Yes, it is quiet here; very quiet.  But I don't know how long that is going to last.

WORDS AND PICTURES

I saw a movie called "Words and Pictures" on Netflix.  It was about 2 teachers; one teaching honors English; the other, honors Art.  It was a battle between the 2.  Which was more important; words or pictures?  Can words stand by themselves?  How about art?  There are some very powerful quotes from famous writers.  Aha, but art; how beautiful pictures are that can take your breath away.  I can write so much more on this subject and give many examples of each; but I won't.  I want you to think.  Think of all the great writers through the ages of time; what they had to say; what impact each made, the poetry lose ourselves in. Then close your eyes and visualize the great artwork, the poignant pictures.  Think of those pictures of war and that photo of the naked girl running down the street during the Vietnam war.  My question is which is more important?  Can they stand alone or does one need the other?  You decide and let me know.

PERSPECTIVE

I am reading a book by Lysa TerKeurst; Unglued Devotional.  It is her own sort of blog for 60 days.

 On one  of the days she wrote how hard something is often depends on your vantage point.  "For example, consider the shell of an egg.  Looking at it from from the outside, we know an eggshell is easily broken.  But if you are looking at that same shell from the inside, it seems an impenetrable fortress.  It's impossible for the raw white and tender yolk to penetrate the hardness of the eggshell.  But given time and the proper incubation, the white and yolk develop into a new life that breaks through the shell and shakes itself free.  And in the end, we can see that the hard work of cracking the shell was good for the new baby chick. "

That got me thinking how true that is.  It is all in the perspective.  In our struggles of life, it is all how we look at things.  If we just realize life is always going to be tough at times and just say that, yes, this is hard, very hard, but how can I learn and grow from it.  Maybe make it into a game.  OK Life, it's you against me.  Who is going to win?  My outside is easily broken, but my inside; I am going to claw my way out!  I know this is easier said than done, but we just have to play these mind games, or the mind will destroy us.  It is so incredible how the mind overtakes everything.  We can't stop those thoughts circling around and around until we are inundated with destructive words directed on ourselves.  So, we need to change the vantage point and decide we are not broken, but little by little getting stronger and braver each time.  

God's Word, How Peaceful it is!

A few days ago, God spoke to me to turn off the news of the world, sit in my chair and read His Word.  He said my pain would be lessened and would have a peace come up on me.  I was obedient and did as I was instructed.  How right He was!  DUH!  There is something about spending time in His Word to turn anxiety into peace.  Pain does diminish.  He wanted me to read in the Book of Job.  I started that today and it was wonderful to get to know that book again.  It has been a while since I read it.  Job overcame so much, but never blamed God.  That is something I have never done as well.  Whatever has happened to me or how I feel physically, I have never put the blame on God.  He has been right beside me the whole way.  I put the blame on myself.  My choices, my lifestyle, my pride; and especially not turning things over to God.

So I have discovered I need to keep on reading and keep on learning.  I love discovering new things and finding the answers to all my questions.  I will be posting some in the days to come.   As I learn, I love to share.  Happy 4th of July to the greatest country on earth and I thank all the people in the military who defend our great nation.

JUST A THOUGHT

I was thinking.  Heterosexuals don't think marriage is necessary, and homosexuals are feeling they NEED to get married.  Do you know who will be the winners in all of this?

THE  DIVORCE ATTORNEYS!  

Relationships

Relationships are funny.  Nothing ever stays the same.  People come and go and I wonder why God mixes the pot.  There doesn't seem to be a foundation made before they are swept away on another path of their own.  Some are irreplaceable and will never know the impact made on a person like myself. I feel lost and alone.  It's really selfish of me to wonder why my path was not good enough.  But that is not how the world works anymore.

In days gone by, families and friends stayed  together.  Wisdom was handed down from generation to generation.  The younger respected the values of the older and over and over again, children passed down what they had learned.

 Those days are gone.  The world is open to everyone to experience.  Ahh, if I only had a second chance.  I would not be whittling away my years in an office where my values and work ethic became my god.  I watched the sun come up and the sun go down all while sitting in my office.  What did I see of the world? Did I learn about life; social skills; make friends?  No, I worked day and night; came home and worked some more.  If I only had a second chance.

I suppose I could travel now, but my chance has come and gone.  It's not possible physically, financially, or emotionally.  Fear rises inside me and can't be controlled. It is not very interesting to go solo; even for local events.

Yes, relationships are funny. Family and friends are on different paths that never cross.  Not in this life anyway.

 I DON'T RECOGNIZE AMERICA ANYMORE

I was always in awe with people who were born at the turn of the century.  How many changes they have been a part of since then. Among them, the telephone, automobiles, space exploration, airplanes, electricity, and of course, my favorite, indoor plumbing.  So many inventions that have changed our lives for the good; gave us comfort, safety, and the ability to explore new lands.

In the last 66 year, I have seen many changes as well.  Here is my list:  disrespect for authority or others, drugs wherever you go, terrorism, the loss of religious freedom, God taken out of everything I hold dear, the moral compass pointing to hell, and now the loss of the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman.

Now don't put words into my mouth, I have nothing against anyone who thinks different from me regarding religion, politics or the sexual orientation.  I have many friends that fit into those categories.   I just don't like it being in my face.  I love all people, but do I really care what you do behind closed doors?

Look at our country, our children, our schools, our respect has changed since God and morals have been taken out of the schools and everywhere else.  Why does one person who is offended have to change certain things that many people hold dear?  In today's society, EVERYONE is offended about something.  Go into the colleges of today.  Where is MY AMERICA?  I don't recognize it anymore!  I am sad.  Can't we just all have different views and have discussions instead of being labeled a racist, a homophobe, or a religious nut.  What you think does not change how I feel about you as a person.  I am taught to love, not hate, but I just can not condone the sin.  Just like I would not expect you to condone my sin, but we all need to love and accept each other.

 Our children and grandchildren are confused.  How many mommies and daddies do they need.  Why do they need to learn about all kinds of families and transgenders in school.  Isn't that the parents job in relation to what each believes.  Soon, most children will not be sure if they are male, female, or somewhere inbetween.  Leave our schools alone.  Teach them math, writing, science, history, geography.  Make sure when they graduate, they at least know who the President is and the people who are running this country.  Teach them about the government so they can be informed voters.  Teach them something besides what sex they might feel they are on a particular day or about oral and anal sex in the 8th grade; about incest in the 4th grade.  This is our schools?  Can't mention "God" or "prayer", or the moral code of ethics, but you can certainly teach them about all the different kinds of sex.  Really?

Political correctness goes way too far in society today.  That is way the comedians will not perform in the colleges today.  What we all thought was funny back in my day, the youth of now, find it utterly offensive.  Where is the American that stood for freedom and bravery.  Where is the America that was the superpower of the world.  No respect even for our country.  The President should be lifting the people up, not telling us how bad we are.  In my opinion, we are the most generous, most kind and loving people in the world, but we don't scare anyone; we should still act powerful.   So now little by little, (which is how everything starts) we are getting the terrorists killing our people, beheading our people, torching our people; little by little; little by little; little by little.............

North Carolina murders

Sometimes we ask ourselves "WHY".  Why God, did these devoted Christians have to die?  It's a question that will never be answered, but in the aftermath of this senseless killing, we have the family members standing before this monster and all they did was forgive him.  That hate will not prevail; only love.  The whole community came together with only love.  The love of God has shown in the faces of all.  Charleston, North Carolina will be remembered for this mass murder, but also for the city of love.  Everyone has given God the Glory.  All were concerned for this young man's soul.  If we look inside ourselves; could we be that forgiving?  I hope I could.  Think of how the outcome could have been different in another city.  We have all seen senseless violence in the streets, but not here.  Only prayer groups, love and forgiveness.  The outcome of this tragedy has been a lesson in strong faith and the love of Christ.  Let's all pray for the families of the victims, but also for the killer's family.  How awful for his family to have to face what their son did.

Thoughts in Space

Thoughts travel in and out of space and I wonder if we pick and choose.  Some are so fleeting, we hardly ever notice.  Here one moment and gone the next. They are the forgettable ones.  Ah, but then we have the thoughts that grab us and pull us in to their web of lies.  Of course, it all sounds good; believable even.  That is exactly our perception of life, ourselves and the world.  It is difficult enough to fit in.  Sadness surrounds our being.  Sometimes a happy thought gets caught up in the strands, but Pouf, that thought is gone.  

How do we save the interwoven goodness of the cotton candy swirls?  Why do they disappear so fast, but we hang on to the self-defecating web-like bits of useless and erroneous thoughts. I have no answer to these questions, but I will put it out to the world to answer if they feel so inclined.  Answers anyone?